Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
