nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
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Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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