I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
