Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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