Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
