Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
