are you still at the devil's house?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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