dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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