How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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