I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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