Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize