ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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