idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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