i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
