hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
