who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
