Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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