I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
