I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
