I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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