I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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