I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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