So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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