We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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