Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
two words...techno handjob
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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