We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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