i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
