im holly from the hills drunk
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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