I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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