you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
how does that bad decision feel?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
