You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
