i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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