We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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