Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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