Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
