So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
