mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
