She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
