I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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