I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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