what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
