First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
