So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
