he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
