New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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