the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
