that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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