I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I love having hate sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
