a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
