Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
