the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I deserve this hangover.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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