So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it because I queefed?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.