And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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