I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
