But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
