If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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