I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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