my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How does one acquire holy water?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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